Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
