I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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