dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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