Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
