We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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