Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
