so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
