Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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