I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
