walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Holy sore nipples Batman
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
