Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
