Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
