i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
