I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
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Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
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Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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