I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize