it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
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