Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
