Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
