i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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