A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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