I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
