Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize