Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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