apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
