I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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