ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
