So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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