? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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