just come out here and I will go home with you...
Banned from zoo.
Again?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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