as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
