i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
