There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
