just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
ok first of all what the fuck
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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