I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Randomize
