so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
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