I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
no more duck duck goose at the bar
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Randomize
