Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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