I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
