Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
