I hope mine doesn't look like that
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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