My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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