brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
