Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize
