I heard we made out
More tranny stories later!
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
