Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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