great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
