she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Randomize
