Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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