DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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