He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
