I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Life is so much better after having sex.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
