just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize