he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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