Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
