what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
