Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
found the other keg... it's in the tree
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
