Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
