apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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