found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
