I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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