somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize