just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize