Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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