party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
