You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
